I Never Meant To
by Toruk'Makto
Summary: Parker Selfridge, on trial explains a little of why he did what he did.


First off I do not own avatar, and second please read the not at the end of the page when you are finished.

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I Never Meant To

Parker Selfridge, clad in an orange jumpsuit, with bleary eyes and messy hair, stands in front of the jury and nervously rings his handcuffed hands together as he begins to speak.

"I'm not a bad guy, well actually I am, but not in the way you think." he sighs and shakes his head.

"I never went to pandora with the intention of hurting anyone. Never in my life had I ever intended to or even thought that I could ever kill anyone." He begins to pace across the floor as he speaks.

"I went to pandora only to run a mining operation, I'd done it before and thought that it would be an easy job, I was wrong.

At first it was not that different then the other operations I have run, this was before there were many scientists on pandora, then we started to get the avatar projects people. I thought that it would make my life easier, but it did not. When we first opened the school on pandora we had high hopes that it would allow us to gt along with the natives batter.

Then we discovered the large deposit under the indigenous village. Immediately I received pressure from some of the high ups in the company to mine it. But not many, we were making a lot of money in the current mines that we had going. But the demand for unobtanium skyrocketed, and the pressure grew steadily worse." He stops pacing and shakes his head, looks around, then resumes pacing.

"I never wanted to destroy the village, I tried everything in my power to avoid it. I thought that we could find a way to buy off the natives. But they do not think like us, they seem to have a connection to the planet that makes them, in our eyes, "unambitious". I thought that they were just savages who would eventually come to see the light of civilization eventually. When Jake Sully showed up I thought he was a godsend. Someone that could possibly get in there heads from another perspective, one that was not a scientist or business person. And he did, he really did. He preformed so well that he figured out what the na'vi were all about. And he realized that they had everything they wanted, they had everything _he_ wanted, there was nothing we could give them that would get them to move. That's when I made the worst decision of my life, I OK'd the assault on the village."

Selfridge stands still for a few seconds staring at the floor, takes a deep breath looks at the jury and continues

"I will always regret that action. I cannot undo it, and I can never atone for it. After I saw on the monitors what happened, and how many were killed, I was horrified with what I had done. I killed 86 men women and children who just wanted to be left alone. No not be left alone, they just wanted to be let live."

"I took, their families, homes and livelihoods in one fell swoop. And for that I am truly sorry, I did not have the guts to stand up and say "No I will find the mineral elsewear" I took the cowards way out."

"I could say that the directorship of the company is to blame,for telling me to "take care of the native problem", or that it was all Quaritch's fault and that he took things too far, which he did. But he would not have done anything at all without my authorization"

"That is why I have plead guilty, I'm not here trying to get off, I take full responsibility for my actions and can only ask that you be merciful. But will accept without complaint or argument whatever you decide. Thank you"

With that he walks back to his seat and sits next to his layer with his head down.

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This is not actually a one-shot. Its a portion of an unfinished story in which Parker Selfridge's fate after he gets back to earth plays a large part. When I watch the scene in the science bay just after hometree goes down I don't see a cold hearted bastard, I see an administrator, who is way out of his depth, just realize what he has done. and when parker is walking to the shuttle it looks like he's not angry or even upset, it looks too me like he is very sad.

So tell me if you agree and what you think. I hope to get the full story that this goes to up soon and when I do I will take this down.

thanks for reading.


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